advantages to wearing oversized sweaters:
- instant cute outfit with minimal effort
- it enhances the coziness when u drink hot beverages
- sweater paws are guaranteed to make u feel 43% more adorable
- u can unbutton ur jeans and no one will know
disadvantages to wearing oversized sweaters:
Guys think they’re totally not cute lol
the day i dress for a man is the day they dress me in my coffin to see jesus
excuse you i find oversized sweaters cute as hell
To see Jesus. Perfect.
I graduated 442 days ago. I’ve done two internships since then, so up until the last two months I have stayed pretty busy. Like a lot of people, I am having trouble finding a more permanent job. In between refreshing my gmail inbox, searching job boards and contemplating going to grad school out of desperation, I took a break to compile a non-exhaustive list of things that took less time than it has taken me to get a job. Godspeed, fellow job seekers.
1) Drafting the United States Constitution. The Constitutional Convention convened for 116 days. According to the National Archives, it actually took our Founding Fathers fewer than 100 of those days to draft the document. Either way, well under the 440 day cut-off.
2) The Mayflower voyage. It took the earliest Americans just over two months to cross the Atlantic wearing less than aerodynamic pilgrim bonnets.
3) William Henry Harrison’s presidency. The ninth president of the United States lasted one month before dying of complications from pneumonia.
4) James Garfield’s presidency. The 20th president was in office for six months.
5) Growing a baby. The gestational period for humans is around 38 weeks.
6) Getting an MBA. Most master of business administration programs can be completed in one year.
7) Forty days of anything in the Bible. Pick your poison. If it is mentioned it the Bible it likely took 40 days, whether it be constant rain or fighting off temptation in the desert.
8) The OJ Simpson trial. From swearing in the jury to handing down the verdict, the process took just under one year.
9) The voyage of the Titanic. The unsinkable ship spent five days at sea.
10) Flying to the moon. It took Apollo 11 three days to reach the moon. It took five days and 22 hours for Apollo 13 to fly around the moon and come back home to earth.
11) James Patterson cranking out novels. The writer has published 15 books in the days since my graduation.
12) The combined marriages of Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries (72), Britney Spears and Jason Alexander (3), Dennis Rodman and Carmen Electra (9), Mario Lopez and Ali Landry (18), Nicolas Cage and Lisa Marie Presley (107) and Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock (122). The not so happy couples spent a collective 331 days married to each other.